Ruby Wedding
Tribute to Marriage

Hi Everybody,
A few months ago Shirley was talking to Lucy and explaining about our 40th. Anniversary, and we weren't too sure how we were going to celebrate it. Lucy said that she would have loved to have been at our wedding, and after more talk she said why we don't we renew our wedding vows. So here we are. Thank you Lucy.
I want to be able to share with you some of the things that have made our marriage what it is today. Some are milestones; some are pointers of something better, some just feel- goods, some with courage and challenges. All with love and support and agreement. That's not to say that there haven't been arguments or disagreements. There have; but only over minor things; major things, after discussion, have been done with full agreement. Knowing that marriage is a partnership, that each partner has a right to speak and a right to be heard, and that in and with love any problem can be solved by talking.

1967 Shirley's family moved to Exmouth Devon, from London.
1967-1969 She worked at Stoke Lyne Hospital for Mentally disabled children as assistant nurse.
Here she was encouraged to do her S.E.N. (State Enrolled Nurse) training. Based at Exmouth Hospital, but trained at Exeter RD&E Hospital.
I started work at Ambrosia in Exeter in 1968 and was living in Exmouth. I became very friendly with a young family who lived just a few doors away from me. That was Mike and Sylvia. We were attending a small church in the local estate school, a daughter church of Exmouth Baptist Church.
In 1969 one Sunday evening we went to the Exmouth Baptist church. Sylvia said to me "See that girl over there, that's my sister" I looked across a crowded room, and saw this most beautiful girl. Sylvia introduced us and invited us for tea. A few weeks later Shirl wanted to go to an international evening at the hospital and wrote to me asking me to take her.
So eventually on 19 August 1972 we married at Exmouth Baptist Church. My Best Man was Richard Buckler and Shirley had Jackie, my sister as senior bridesmaid along with Lisa, Shirl's niece, and Craig Buckler, son of Richard as Page Boy. It was a very warm and sunny day. In the morning I helped to set up the church for the reception; then Shirl's dad commandeered me to pick up his friends from Exeter, who I hadn't met and didn't know where they lived.
I found them, got home, got ready and got to church on time.
Lisa was carrying a small basket of flowers. She and Craig were both 3 years old. In the church the baptistery was open and full of water. Craig decided that he wanted the basket so the two of them started to fight. I imagined one or both of them falling in; should I dive in or climb in to rescue them. Any way my dad came to the rescue and he looked after Craig.
Some of you may not know that my surname is Olsen and originally they came from Norway. So on our honeymoon we went to Stavanger in Norway where my family came from and spent many days in the local archives searching for my relatives. Initially without much success; eventually the archivist who was helping us put an ad in the local paper and on the last day they made contact. Quite sceptical at first but gradually warmed to us. Shirley couldn't speak a word of Norwegian and Sigrid, first cousin twice removed, couldn't speak English, but the two spent hours in deep conversation. Unfortunately I'm now only in contact with Richard my 2nd cousin once removed by email.
At about this time, Ambrosia, part of Bovril was bought by Jimmy Goldsmith of Cavenham Foods, and proceeded to sell off or close down what he couldn't sell. So the Research Lab was moved to Lifton factory; luckily I was kept on and in March 1973 we moved into a miner's cottage in Tavistock.
These days nearly everybody has a mobile, the joy that April, we had our telephone put in. The joy only lasted till June when our car a mini finally died and I had to buy a new car, Shirley announced that she was pregnant and our mortgage rate doubled. So to help I took an evening job working at the local bingo hall.
February 1974 our first son was born. John Christian. John after me and my dad and my grandfather, Johan, and my great great grandfather, Sivert Johan. Christian after my great grandfather.
Realised that the house was going to be too small so I built a third bedroom over the kitchen and bathroom extension. My first attempt at building. And got it finished by 1976.

August 1976 our second son was born. Thurstan Richard. I wanted a Norwegian name to go with Olsen. I didn't like the Norwegian family names so settled on Thurstan meaning Thor's stone, and Richard after my best man. I've since found Richard to be a family name. My great great uncle, Richard Omdahl. And Richard in the Thormodsen family.

Opportunity to say to John and Thurstan how proud we are of you and we love you to bits.

By 1980 we realised the house was still going to be too small, so I set about another extension. This one to the side of the house was downstairs an entrance/ play room and a dining room/study. And upstairs a 4th bedroom and a bathroom. This allowed me to include the original bathroom into the kitchen. A problem. Although I held freehold of the house, the Duke of Bedford held the freehold of the pathways. The pathways were to the front and rear of the houses and between the blocks of 4. To build the extension I would have to build on the side footpath, so I allowed part of our garden to become the footpath; effectively moving the footpath sideways by a metre. The Duke went along with the plan and that provided we didn't move within 2 years, no charge; if we moved within the 2 years I would have to pay £1000.

1987 Problems at Ambrosia. Alan, head of Research & Development was asked to resign. Martin my manager was promoted to head of R & D. It was assumed that in the factory that I would be promoted. No, I was 42 and told too old, but I would be responsible for training my successor. I went home and told Shirley and said for 2 pins I ' would go and buy a corner shop'. Shirley said buy a Post Office which we did. During September for two days we travelled up from Devon to Birmingham and Preston cutting across to Leeds and going back down country to Devon looking at post offices. Shirley had done all the bookings. The one that I didn't want to visit was Horbury Bridge because it was advertised as a take away. I assumed either fish & chips or curry. But Shirley had booked us to visit it, so we had a major disagreement in a café in the centre of Mansfield. At the time against my better judgement we went; as we went in I knew that was home, and promptly fell asleep.
So in faith, I put our house up for sale and I resigned from Ambrosia with a 3 month resignation, meaning I would leave early January. We got a buyer fairly quickly and set in motion the procedure to buy the post office. On Christmas Eve we were told the buyer, an American had gone back to the States and the sale was off. Jan 7th I left Ambrosia, no job, no money, because I voluntary resigned no benefits, but I did eventually get £15 a week for the two boys. Our estate agent put the price up and we got a new buyer fairly quickly. They wanted to be in quickly and we wanted to be out quickly so towards end of Feb an exchange day was agreed, this was 3 weeks before we moved into the post office. So the day arrived, all our furniture gone into storage, telephone call everything off. The duke of Bedford had put the £1000 charge against the property, didn't tell my solicitor who didn't tell me, but after the 2 years hadn't bothered to remove the charge. Our buyers were waiting with their furniture, and extremely angry. I was told under no circumstances to confront them. Mid afternoon my solicitor sorted the problem and we had to take the keys to them in Exeter. So we arrived at about 5pm. They are in Barnfield Crescent, a Georgian Crescent, behind black and Gold gates with a gate keeper. So we parked up between Rolls an Alfa Romeo, a Ferrari; We were all very hungry, tired, thirsty and dirty; Shirley, myself, our 2 boys, a dog, a rabbit, a budgie, a hamster, assorted plants. We then spent a week with Shirl's Mum, 2 with my Mum and Dad and then moved into the post office in March 1988 which was a corner shop with sandwich take-a-way - it's now the hairdressers.
Anticipating a new life with not fear but of the worry of the unknown; had we done the right thing. It was a good time. I was sub postmaster, Shirley in charge of the kitchen and sandwich production. Being the centre of the community. Making new friends.

31/12/1994 Danniella
31/03/1999 Ashley
19/04/1999 Lucy
2001 I suffered my Brain haemorrhage and was in hospital for 7 weeks. During this time Shirley suddenly had my jobs, accounts, wages, stock purchasing etc. to do. Which she did with great enthusiasm.
I did go back to work but found great problems with coping.
2002 We sold the Post Office and moved up into Horbury.

Again we had problems selling the post office. Before my hospital stay we'd been on the market for about 2 years, but nothing. While I was in hospital Shirley was advised to change estate agents which she did, with a promise to find a buyer. Their game plan was about every 2 months to drop the asking price. It got to the stage where we would have great difficulty in buying another property. There was a lot of prayer made about the situation, then actually in a prayer meeting, held in our house Susan got a word from God for us; to close down the post office, the shop and business and sell as a domestic house. My first thoughts were we're throwing away the value of the business. I did approach Reeds Rains, they weren't too happy to start but agreed to try, and put the value of the property higher than the other agents. We found a buyer very quickly who wanted to turn the property into a curry house; and we found and this house and agreed to buy it. We were shown drawings and the plans; just needed planning consent. Week after week went by. Same story waiting for the council. In the end I approached the council myself, to be told plans rejected weeks before. We called the buyer in, same story, so politely I called his bluff and showed him the door. We got another buyer fairly quickly. Our problem and fear was that the owners of this house needed to sell but because he'd given his word to us he was staying with us. We said for him to try to find another buyer, but no. We were due to move on 4th August. 2 days before it was all called off. Our buyer's solicitors finally got the paper work and realised a major problem. Down along the side of the property was a road leading to a lot of works units, which we used to get to the rear of our property and garage. O the map the road is stated as 'Right of Access'. I, and our solicitors when we bought the office assumed it meant 'Right of Way'. But it doesn't. 'Right of Way' is for any Tom or Dick and his dog, but 'Right of Access' is a private agreement between two named parties. Being over a barrel I had to buy the 'Right of Access' so that we could sell. We finally sold and moved in here on 4th October.

12/12/2002 Nell
11/11/2003 Bethany

In January 2007 our church closed down so we joined our new church 'New Horizons'. In 2017 the church changed it's name to Vision Church. I have to thank you for the love, friendship, freedom, and help that exudes from everybody in the church. From the leaders to the newest member. It's in the church's DNA.

20/07/2008 Finn

That brings us up to the present.
It's been a long journey, with good times and with bad times. But with faith knowing that whether good or bad times our love for each other would see us through, there is a much deeper love, without which I suspect we might not be here today, that's the love of God for all of us. Shirley and I do have a personal relationship with Jesus. He is our friend helping and guiding us on a daily basis.
In closing, I want to say to you sweetheart, thank you for your love, your passion, your compassion and your help to me, and for putting up with me.
May we all be here to celebrate our 50th, 60th and beyond, but for now, raise your drinks with me and toast Shirley as I say thank you and I love you.

Our actually anniversary is on the 19th. , But today is actually the anniversary of our dear friends Steve and Sharon, so join with us as we give our congratulations to Steve and Sharon. To Steve and Sharon; only 35 more years to go to catch up with us.

I'm not finished yet. We've had messages of love and congratulations from people who can't be here today.

Sylvia and Mike
David and Christine
David and Doreen
Aunty Nellie
Linda and John
Eric and Jean
Richard and Carol Buckler
Joyce Williams

Shirley and I will now cut into this beautiful cake, present from Thurstan and Lisa and Lucy and Bethany.